{"id":257413,"date":"2022-03-18T23:31:55","date_gmt":"2022-03-18T23:31:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/?p=257413"},"modified":"2023-04-20T05:24:30","modified_gmt":"2023-04-20T05:24:30","slug":"i-owe-you-an-apology-the-seth-campbell-podcast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/i-owe-you-an-apology-the-seth-campbell-podcast\/","title":{"rendered":"I Owe You An Apology\u00a0\u2013 The Seth Campbell Show"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; da_disable_devices=&#8221;off|off|off&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221; da_is_popup=&#8221;off&#8221; da_exit_intent=&#8221;off&#8221; da_has_close=&#8221;on&#8221; da_alt_close=&#8221;off&#8221; da_dark_close=&#8221;off&#8221; da_not_modal=&#8221;on&#8221; da_is_singular=&#8221;off&#8221; da_with_loader=&#8221;off&#8221; da_has_shadow=&#8221;on&#8221;][et_pb_row _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;|2%||2%|false|true&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][et_pb_code _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<iframe allow=\"autoplay *; encrypted-media *; fullscreen *\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"175\" style=\"width:100%;max-width:660px;overflow:hidden;background:transparent;\" sandbox=\"allow-forms allow-popups allow-same-origin allow-scripts allow-storage-access-by-user-activation allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation\" src=\"https:\/\/embed.podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/ep-13-i-owe-you-an-apology\/id1572195032?i=1000543780417\"><\/iframe>[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/booknow.fivedoorsapp.com\/#\/customer\/smart-growth-call-with-seth&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Book A Free Session With Seth&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.20.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text_color=&#8221;#FFFFFF&#8221; button_bg_color=&#8221;#CDA43B&#8221; button_border_color=&#8221;#CDA43B&#8221; button_border_radius=&#8221;11px&#8221; global_module=&#8221;258167&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#4c4c4c&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to the Seth Campbell Podcast. This show is to equip you with real world tactics to improve your leadership skills, build your wealth, and cause you to leave a multigenerational impact on your world. This is episode 13. I owe you an apology, and I owe each of you an apology because I&#8217;ve been avoiding this topic, and it&#8217;s against my personal mission of changing family trees, of growing leaders, avoiding a conversation that we all face in some way or another. And today I want to talk about cancel culture.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m triggered, that person isn&#8217;t okay by my set of rules. And in the first half of this, I&#8217;m going to push you. So I&#8217;ll give you a fair warning. I&#8217;m going to push you and I&#8217;m going to ask you to breathe a couple of times. I&#8217;m going to push you and challenge probably some of your deepest buttons.<\/p>\n<p>I know this is a sensitive topic. It&#8217;s one that people get canceled for even bringing up, and I certainly have been through that enough of myself. So I want to just go right at it. I&#8217;ve been avoiding this too long, and in fact, I might trigger you. It may not be okay by your set of rules.<\/p>\n<p>You may choose to stop and cancel me midway through this. My request is to hear me all the way through. And as I&#8217;m discussing these things, look inward. Some of the most powerful things we do in life, really, as you by now, is looking inward, particularly on our leadership journey. We&#8217;ve often talked on here in this podcast.<\/p>\n<p>This isn&#8217;t a framework of leadership, yet I put leadership for all of us, whether it&#8217;s parenting, leading others, other generations, people are watching us all around us. And I might also be in a leadership role at work. Certainly we&#8217;re all leaders in some form or another, and I think this may be the most valuable lesson to learn in unlocking every, and I don&#8217;t use that word lightly. Every negative relationship pattern, negative work environment pattern, failure pattern in your life, it very well probably will link back to some version or some part inside of this. It&#8217;s a meaty topic, and I&#8217;m going to do my best to go through it all in one episode.<\/p>\n<p>If we need to extend we can into another episode. So if you&#8217;re unhappy with how things are going in some part of your life, it could be spiritually, physically, mentally, relationship issues, financially, any part, work, then this is for you. In fact, I think this is probably the single most damaging mindset that&#8217;s being taught to our next generation, and it&#8217;s going to cause significant problems in our culture. I believe this is why suicide in the cancel culture. This is why suicide nowadays is escalating.<\/p>\n<p>I brought some stats, particularly, this is amongst kids. Listen to some of these recent studies, and we know that during the pandemic of 2020, things got much worse. Suicide rates, alcoholism rates, drug abuse rates, divorce rates all skyrocketed. In my opinion, that necessarily wasn&#8217;t about the pandemic. It&#8217;s like what we say about money.<\/p>\n<p>Will money cause you to be good or evil? Now we know money amplifies who you already are. So if you were somebody who&#8217;s a giver, money is going to make you more of a giver. If you&#8217;re somebody who&#8217;s a taker, money to make you more of a taker. I think probably what happened is the Pandemic forced some things that it took away our ability to distract ourselves, and it brought whatever issues we may have been dealing with internally, straight to the forefront.<\/p>\n<p>So I don&#8217;t think the pandemic caused more suicides, more divorces, more alcoholism or drug abuse. I think it just brought what was already there faster to the surface to force people to face their things. And we see the reaction that&#8217;s happened with a lot of it. So check out some of these rates. 1.4 million people in the US attempted suicide in 2019.<\/p>\n<p>The teenage suicide stats are insane. 18.8. So that&#8217;s almost 20% of teens considered attempting suicide in 2019. It went up in 2020. So it&#8217;s one of every five.<\/p>\n<p>So you think about a classroom of 30 kids, and I think classrooms are probably bigger than that. It&#8217;s like six of those kids in there are thinking about committing suicide. 40% of LGBT youth seriously contemplating harm, harming themselves. Boys, adolescent boys are five times more likely to commit suicide than girls their age. 56% of students know someone who self harms or has already committed suicide, 56% intentional self harm.<\/p>\n<p>Check this out. This is like heartbreaking. Intentional self harm is the second most cause of death in 10 to 14 year olds right now, only behind car accidents. Number one killer of 10 to 14 year olds, intentional self harm is now the number two cause of death from 10 to 14 year olds.<\/p>\n<p>People between age 15 and 29 commit one third of all suicides. 50%, half of lifetime cases of mental health illness will develop before a person becomes 17 years old now, in the United States, it goes on and on. In April 2020, requests for professional assistance with general anxiety disorder increased by 93.6%. I&#8217;ve got family members, teenagers who dealing with some of this stuff, and we can&#8217;t even find counselors for them because they&#8217;re all booked up like suicidal and it&#8217;s hard to find a place, a bed for them to get help.<\/p>\n<p>So, I think that this is not the absolute cause of what we&#8217;re talking about here with suicide, yet, it is all lumped together with a mindset. So hear me. I&#8217;m addressing a mindset that exists, and it&#8217;s growing. The mindset that&#8217;s growing, I believe, is the issue. And yes, this is a leadership podcast.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a Change Your Family Tree podcast more than anything, which is why we&#8217;re having this conversation. Because my hope is you will tap into your leadership and all the people that you influence around you in any format and start to address this and go right to it. And I want to make a statement and just going to say it about cancel culture. And then we&#8217;re going to review it and come back to it. Here&#8217;s what I believe to be true.<\/p>\n<p>Cancel culture is a mirror of actually canceling yourself. We&#8217;re only angry by what we see in ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn&#8217;t respond to anything with anything but loving compassion because we would be wanting to help that person through what we&#8217;ve already overcome. So that&#8217;s a weird sentence. Sit on it for a little bit and then dance around and then come back to it.<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m going to narrow this down as complicated and as heavy of a subject this is, remember, I&#8217;m hitting you hard with the heavy stuff, talking about children and teenagers and suicide, because that&#8217;s how serious it can be. And make no mistake though, I am talking about a one on one conversation with somebody you lead about their performance. It does exist there too. Just certainly, maybe not as heavy obviously as this, but it&#8217;s the same thought processing pattern. I&#8217;m going to turn it into a 1, 2, 3, how this flows.<\/p>\n<p>And you might want to write this down. Beliefs go to a trigger and a trigger goes to a response. So I have written down beliefs with an arrow to the word trigger and then an arrow to the word response. So beliefs then triggers then response. Beliefs and triggers and response.<\/p>\n<p>So let&#8217;s talk about beliefs. Beliefs is simply what I believe. This is okay. This isn&#8217;t okay. This means I&#8217;m good.<\/p>\n<p>This means I&#8217;m a bad person. This means that person is good. This means that person is evil. It&#8217;s just what I believe. Triggers. That thing just happened initiated my belief.<\/p>\n<p>That thing that just happened initiated my belief. That&#8217;s a trigger. My brain confirms the belief and then my emotions start. So, it happens instantaneously. Like my belief was just triggered.<\/p>\n<p>And my emotions, my brain confirms that. My emotions start to build and then I have my response. And sometimes all that can happen in all three of them in a split second. You know that whatever responses are, joy, happiness, and leadership. My response might be to reward.<\/p>\n<p>It might be to reprimand, it might be to promote, it might be to fire, it might be to ignore responses for myself. It could be go speak out. It could be go internal, it could be isolate, it could be fight, it could be hate, it could be canceled the person, it could be defend myself, it could be defend the person. It could be abandon the person, it could be abandon myself, it could be become depressed, it could be my response to the attack, it could be kill myself.<\/p>\n<p>These are all reactions. So let&#8217;s address the elephant in the room. First of all, because this is a big subject, as you can tell, and it starts with like this thought, okay, is there good and evil? I believe absolutely, yes.<\/p>\n<p>I actually don&#8217;t believe in what&#8217;s called relativism. It&#8217;s a form of Nietzsche. It&#8217;s a philosopher named Nietzsche, which a lot of is very highly taught in our society. And relativism, is there is no absolute truth. All truth is relative.<\/p>\n<p>What you believe is right. And if I believe it&#8217;s wrong, it&#8217;s right because it&#8217;s your view and that&#8217;s right. And I actually think that is where it begins to break down. I believe the opposite. I think there is such a thing as absolute truth, and a lot of people struggle with that.<\/p>\n<p>It goes against relativism, which sparked this form of leadership, this form of teaching. So, for example, if you believe murdering children is right, then that&#8217;s your view. So that&#8217;s right. I actually believe that there&#8217;s a plumb line of truth from our creator, and it&#8217;s 100% possible to be wrong about something. See, that sentence alone is enough to spark up some people these days.<\/p>\n<p>I believe it&#8217;s 100% possible to be wrong about something. Here&#8217;s a chair. I believe it&#8217;s a chair. I think it&#8217;s wood. Okay, we&#8217;re both right.<\/p>\n<p>I see it as a step stool. Okay, sure. It&#8217;s not a chair whatsoever. Sorry, that&#8217;s wrong. It is a chair.<\/p>\n<p>So can there be. Let that sink in. Breathe for a second. Let it sink in. It is possible that you&#8217;re wrong about something.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s possible that I&#8217;m wrong about something. Is it possible that I answered the math question incorrect? Two plus two does not equal five. That&#8217;s true. I&#8217;m actually wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Now, one answer can have plenty of rights. That&#8217;s into the I see wood, I see a step stool. Okay, we&#8217;re both right. Now, I say yay you say nay, it&#8217;s possible one of us is wrong. In fact, the funny part is about that, philosophy.<\/p>\n<p>You can undo this relativism philosophy. And I know I&#8217;m not going to go too deep on this because I know I&#8217;ll lose some of you getting philosophical, but I&#8217;m laying down the groundwork to where we&#8217;re going and how we take action and improve our leadership and improve maybe our generations with this. So philosophically, it&#8217;s what we call a circular argument. The famous one is religion. It&#8217;s one that people don&#8217;t like to talk about either.<\/p>\n<p>If I say all religions are correct and one religion steps up, say Christianity says no, there&#8217;s actually only one way to get to heaven. So now, just think about that. Even from a logical standpoint, if I say all are correct and all include the one that says only we&#8217;re correct, then it&#8217;s a circular argument. By definition, all can&#8217;t be correct because if that one is correct and that means the other ones aren&#8217;t. And if that one&#8217;s correct, then that means that one&#8217;s not, which then turns on itself.<\/p>\n<p>Do you get that? It&#8217;s weird, but it&#8217;s funny when you put it that clear. You can&#8217;t all be right about the same thing. Now you can all have your own belief. That&#8217;s fine.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not worth saying. There is such a thing as absolute truth. And what undoes it, is the moment somebody says there&#8217;s only one way to do it, then that automatically means they&#8217;re either right or wrong compared to the person that says everything is right. So I don&#8217;t know if you might have to replay that one and listen to it again. But just think about Christianity can&#8217;t be right if everybody else is right, and then the other ones can&#8217;t be right if everybody else, if it includes Christianity because Christianity says it wrong, that&#8217;s just philosophically.<\/p>\n<p>And I use that definition because it stirs people up. So can we all believe differently? Absolutely. Am I telling you which one is right? No way.<\/p>\n<p>Do I get to decide that? No. Do I know? Absolutely not. I didn&#8217;t say that, and I&#8217;m not saying that.<\/p>\n<p>All I&#8217;m saying the first step is to understand that everything is true is one of the biggest impossibilities that children are taught. Everything can&#8217;t be true. That&#8217;s where it begins, right? That&#8217;s where the belief, the unhealthy belief starts to form, and then it can build off that. So when you study human history, it&#8217;s interesting because you watch almost everything we do.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s like a pendulum that swings side to side, and eventually it goes from one extreme to the other. So we had so many generations of some leaders out there and some parents, like, dictating us. They&#8217;re right and wrong, their beliefs, their prejudices, their injustices. And we wake up, we get wiser, and we&#8217;re like, this is crazy. We&#8217;re not going to judge people by the color of their skin and their accent or whatever or their gender.<\/p>\n<p>And we start to push all the way to the other extreme. And we can actually go to the other extreme where you actually can&#8217;t have an opinion on anything or you&#8217;ll get persecuted for sharing your opinion or having an opinion. Do you see how that pendulum can work? And we&#8217;re starting to go there inside of particularly in leading this next generation. And a lot of us have some of the next generation coming up into the workforce.<\/p>\n<p>And one of the greatest things I learned early in my career and again, I can credit McDonald&#8217;s for this one, is they started training on different generations. So you definitely, as a leader, want to learn the differences between the baby boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, millennials, Gen Z that is now coming into the workforce because they&#8217;re different. And we want to be able to understand their natural tendencies. And it anchors back to this, what their natural beliefs tend to be it&#8217;s a little bit of stereotype. It tends to be.<\/p>\n<p>And if you watch the pendulum, you can see it like you can even see pessimism and optimism swing back and forth inside of a generation. So it&#8217;s good as a leader to understand that the next generation tends to come up with a different set of beliefs than we do and conflicts can happen. And we&#8217;ve all seen it. We were those people coming up into work, and the generation above us was, like, had a problem with our beliefs. And then I remember when millennials came to work force man, and they got criticized like crazy.<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m like you&#8217;re missing the beauty of some of the millennial beliefs. And so I say this to improve leadership because these are beliefs that are coming up, and there&#8217;s a couple of extremely dangerous ones, and we&#8217;re starting to witness them now. And I believe it&#8217;s going to affect your company. I believe it&#8217;s going to affect your home life. I believe it&#8217;s going to affect a lot of things.<\/p>\n<p>So I bring it up because silence is probably the worst thing we can do about it. We are leaning the pendulum swinging to this place of, hey, we&#8217;re going to persecute anybody who expresses their opinion. Because when I hear you express your opinion, I may be hearing you saying I&#8217;m wrong, and that&#8217;s not okay anymore, because now I&#8217;ve got right. And that in it of itself was, by the way, you expressing your opinion too. That&#8217;s the interesting part.<\/p>\n<p>Just understand that for a second. We&#8217;re probably pushing it too far where we don&#8217;t express opinion or we don&#8217;t want to express opinion, or we beat up somebody who may express an opinion different than ours. So breathe, I&#8217;m not going to leave you. Let me give you some relief before you get triggered. If you&#8217;re not already triggered at me. Way back in the beginning of this whole thing is what leaders, parents, heck, humans must begin to master.<\/p>\n<p>For us to have a true level of joy, peace, productivity, we must just write this down and think about this. We must master the ability to separate human from the action they just did. I&#8217;ll say it again. We must master the ability as leaders, as humans, we must master the ability to separate the human from the action they just did.<\/p>\n<p>We must master the ability to separate the human from the beliefs they have today. Have you ever done something that you now or at the time even didn&#8217;t believe was the right thing to do? Yes. Raise your hand. I&#8217;ll raise two hands on that one.<\/p>\n<p>Have you ever changed your mind on something you believed in? Absolutely. Before you believed in this so wholeheartedly. And now you&#8217;re like, yeah, I don&#8217;t believe that anymore. I believe differently.<\/p>\n<p>Sure. So no human is equal to their actions? No human is equal to their beliefs. Brian Stevenson. There&#8217;s a movie out on him.<\/p>\n<p>There&#8217;s a book called Just Mercy. He&#8217;s one of the most incredible human beings I&#8217;ve ever seen. I&#8217;ve seen him Live a couple of times, and I give a lot to his organization. Look him up and he&#8217;s got a quote I just love.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s Bryan Stevenson. It&#8217;s B-R-Y-A-N. Stevenson. And just search Just Mercy. Look at the movie.<\/p>\n<p>Michael B. Jordan played him, one day I&#8217;m going to have abs like him anyway. That&#8217;s a different subject. Here&#8217;s his quote, each of us is more than the worst we&#8217;ve ever done. I just love that each of us is more than the worst we&#8217;ve ever done.<\/p>\n<p>Each of us is more than the worst we&#8217;ve ever believed. Each of us is more than the worst we&#8217;ve ever done. And I think all of us would be like, thank goodness. Thank goodness. So it begins with us as leaders.<\/p>\n<p>Tweaking this first. You&#8217;re human. We&#8217;re human. No human is equal to our beliefs. No human is equal to our actions.<\/p>\n<p>No human is equal to our emotions at the time because all of us are on our journey. So whatever it was, whatever the trigger I had from that individual was, and then my reaction, I got a snapshot in time. I got a snapshot in time of that person&#8217;s actions, a snapshot in time of their beliefs, a snapshot in time of their words, a snapshot in time of whatever. And it&#8217;s simply a snapshot in time. I have no idea how they were as a baby.<\/p>\n<p>I doubt that they came out of the womb on day one thinking and doing evil things. And who am I to say that 20 years from now they won&#8217;t have a complete heart change? So the real issue becomes when we link together somebody&#8217;s actions or words or beliefs as their identity, like who they are. So now you can start to see where I&#8217;m going with some of the cancel stuff is very different. What&#8217;s the one skill we have to master first, the ability to separate humans from the action they just took, the beliefs they currently have, the words they just said, whatever.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m going to separate judging their entire humanity, their entire journey on this planet from whatever I just saw right there. So now what I can do, if somebody can say or do something I think is completely evil, I completely disagree with and I&#8217;m not going to say who the person is as a human, their entire life, every second of life inside of that. Is what they&#8217;re doing evil that day? Sure. Are they an evil person? I&#8217;m not going to say that.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t have enough data. I don&#8217;t know their heart. I don&#8217;t know their history. I don&#8217;t know their future. So that&#8217;s where that begins.<\/p>\n<p>Now all we can address is what we saw, what we experienced, what we heard. And that leads us to the core of this belief, which is I as a leader, as a human, I&#8217;m going to judge the action, not the person. And too often we&#8217;re in a place where we collapse those two together, like I said. So as soon as my first core belief is, I&#8217;m going to separate people from their action, I&#8217;m going to separate people&#8217;s identity, who they are as a human from what they said, what they did, what they believe at this moment is a snapshot in time then that makes me more effective for myself and for the rest of the world. So, when I lead someone at work and they mess up over and over and over again as a leader, I&#8217;m not going to speak to their identity.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not going to say man, they&#8217;re lazy, they&#8217;re stupid, they just don&#8217;t care. They just don&#8217;t care. I can&#8217;t seem to get this person to care about their work. The moment I do that, when I collapse their identity into their actions or their beliefs or what I&#8217;ve witnessed, I fail as a leader because I don&#8217;t know their heart and I don&#8217;t possibly have enough information on their entire history to be able to say they don&#8217;t care or they&#8217;re lazy. Their action could have been, does not mean they are.<\/p>\n<p>And if you think about that, I can only speak to their action.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re going to feel this. I could go as far as loving them. I could actually love them and hate what they did. I can love a person and hate their action. I can love my persecutor.<\/p>\n<p>Hear me? I can love my persecutor. Hate their lies. Are their victims out there? Heck yes.<\/p>\n<p>Did you leave me earlier when I asked you to open up on your beliefs? I hope not. I never ever said accept what people have done. I never said it was okay. In fact, I said there&#8217;s a true right wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t accept certain words, action, deeds. Don&#8217;t accept what was done to you. That&#8217;s fine. What I&#8217;m saying is don&#8217;t go as far as say the action defines the entire person. So belief number one is, people are not their actions, not their words, not their emotions, not their beliefs.<\/p>\n<p>And when you turn that inward, don&#8217;t you feel good about that? I hope so. Have you been called out or judged for an action or words or beliefs or what people thought they were and that sunk into identity? No. All of us are in flux.<\/p>\n<p>All humans are in flux, subject to change. All of us. So hold on to that and let&#8217;s move to triggers. This is mind boggling. Did you know what&#8217;s being taught in a whole bunch of universities right now?<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s how you can start to judge some of the beliefs that are trickling in from the next generation as the pendulum swings that we talked about, this is going to improve your leadership. When you start paying attention to the pendulum swinging and get a little predictive on what&#8217;s happening. So what&#8217;s being taught in a whole bunch of universities rather is this triggering thing and it&#8217;s hold on in class. What you&#8217;re saying is triggering me, so you need to stop and the classroom is okay. Johnny is triggered by that.<\/p>\n<p>So we all need to stop and respect Johnny and not say that anymore. The whole classroom. And I want you to just think about that for a second. Take that into the future. Like, I can walk into a room and say, you&#8217;re triggering me with that.<\/p>\n<p>So you need to stop. And we&#8217;re actually training the next generation to adjust to that. And for those of us who are parents, we should be scared to death of that. The funny part is I went I tested out before earlier today, knowing that I was on talk about this day. I went to my twelve year old and I said, hey, your green shirt is triggering me.<\/p>\n<p>Please stop wearing it. And he&#8217;s a smart kid. He came back with the best answer ever. He said, okay, if that&#8217;s how things work then. Taxes.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t even know why he said that. It&#8217;s so funny. It&#8217;s probably me. Taxes trigger me. So let&#8217;s call the IRS and tell them they need to stop trying to collect them for me.<\/p>\n<p>I was like, that&#8217;s the greatest answer ever. I got to steal it for the podcast, imagine if we have the ability to make the outside world change to what we were offended by on the inside. Then heck, let&#8217;s get on a congress call right now and call the IRS and say, like, we&#8217;re personally offended by collecting taxes and they need to respect our trigger and not trigger us by asking for money. So now, are there rules and regulations to determine how we must act to keep our freedom?<\/p>\n<p>Yes. So then we have to understand that we have to adjust to certain environments and certain things around us. The problem is when rules move towards that relativism that we talked about Nietzschism and they become relative to the person feeling them since then, you can see how society collapses at that point. It&#8217;s just not maintainable. So here&#8217;s perhaps the second most important truth you may hear in life.<\/p>\n<p>And it&#8217;s another one to write down. If the outside and the outside is work environments, he or she, them or they, my wife, my husband, my kids, my boss, the weather.<\/p>\n<p>If the outside needs to change for me to be happy, I will die miserable. If the outside needs to change for me to be happy, I will die miserable. Now, the world will not conform to our beliefs and triggers. As adults, we start to know this, right? And I think about these kids that might be going through some of this training in the universities now.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, tell people when you&#8217;re triggered and they need to change and adjust you. I don&#8217;t know about you. Like, I walked into my first job at McDonald&#8217;s. All right, boss, slow down. Like the way you&#8217;re telling me to mop the floors, that&#8217;s triggering me.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m a little offended by that. I&#8217;m going to need you to speak in a different tone. What&#8217;s going to happen, he&#8217;ll be like, uh get the hell out of here, next, right? That&#8217;s how the world really is. The world is not going to adjust to our triggers.<\/p>\n<p>And we are raising up a generation that is attempting to go that way. So we as good effective leaders and generation changers. We want to know that and not beat up anybody. What we want to do is we want to help open up that belief. And it is.<\/p>\n<p>If the outside needs to change for me to be happy, I will die miserable. So then what do we have? And a trigger. Trigger goes back to that first instance. I said it was a little shocking about cancel culture.<\/p>\n<p>Cancel culture is really us canceling ourselves in the mirror because it&#8217;s the world telling it&#8217;s the universe, it&#8217;s God, it&#8217;s your creator, it&#8217;s whatever you believe my opinion, telling you what you need to work on, telling me what I need to work on. Because at the moment I get offended, the moment I get sparked up, the moment I get triggered on something, then it&#8217;s an opportunity for me to deal with something on the inside. Letting go, forgiving, moving on, believing. I don&#8217;t know. And I believe it&#8217;s going to keep coming up and coming up.<\/p>\n<p>And the more any of us attempt to change the outside world, to adjust to it, the more let down will be. Because they only start to avoid it, go into isolation, depression, suicide. Because the world just isn&#8217;t fair. The world just isn&#8217;t being who we need it to be or we focus on what we can control, which is our reaction to it, our response to it. And I actually believe further than that. Wherever you continuously get triggered is the universe, your creator, whatever.<\/p>\n<p>Whoever you believe in reminding you, you still got something to deal with here. You still got something to deal with here. How do I know that? How I believe that is because you wouldn&#8217;t even notice it if it wasn&#8217;t an issue. Are there people who don&#8217;t get triggered on the thing that you and I get triggered on?<\/p>\n<p>They just walk by, they don&#8217;t even see it. It&#8217;s not even on the radar. Yes, because they don&#8217;t have to deal with it. So every internal trigger is a sign of something, doesn&#8217;t mean you accept it, doesn&#8217;t mean it&#8217;s okay. What happens is your need for it to change, for you to be happy.<\/p>\n<p>Hear me clearly on that, not saying accept what that person did to you or said to you. What I am saying is don&#8217;t need it to change, for you to be happy, whether it&#8217;s that way or not. Do you get that? Now, so then as a leader, let&#8217;s get out of the heaviness for a second and go back to you as a leader. As a parent, I can now look at this and remember all the different responses.<\/p>\n<p>And most of our responses are futile efforts to get the outside to conform to our trigger and our trigger being based on our belief. Most of our responses are futile efforts of getting outside stuff to change, to not hit our trigger that was based on our belief. And if we can choose to say, okay, every time I triggered that&#8217;s something for me to work on, man, it would be great if that person changed. It would be much easier. Okay, sure.<\/p>\n<p>And yet they&#8217;re on their journey. They&#8217;re doing what they&#8217;re doing. Maybe I need to stay away. Maybe I&#8217;ll distance. Maybe I&#8217;ll go put them in jail.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s fine. However, what I don&#8217;t need is for them to change, for me to be okay. I&#8217;m not dependent on that. Do you get the difference? Not saying, man, I don&#8217;t care if they change or not.<\/p>\n<p>I want them to change. I want my kids to do this. I want my wife to do this. I want all that. I want my employees to be the greatest ever.<\/p>\n<p>Is my happiness depending on what they do? No. That&#8217;s the difference. So, now as we get into that belief, you realize, because, by the way, is somebody out there saying the same thing about me? Heck yeah. And where cancel culture is all of this revved up, it is not only do I need that person to change or to pay for what they&#8217;ve done, I need to go rally the troops and just think about it for a second.<\/p>\n<p>That left unchecked. What gets canceled next? What belief gets canceled next? What thought gets canceled next? Like, we&#8217;re potentially getting into a society where our children or the next generation.<\/p>\n<p>One mistake, one misinterpreted thing, one sentence, one belief, one opinion, one legitimate screw up, one really bad screw up. It could be more than jail time. It could be more than a penalty, it could be outcast. And that&#8217;s where we get in trouble. Because none of us can live up to that standard.<\/p>\n<p>None of us can live up to the standard that changes based on every single person in front of us. So this idea that, hey, because I&#8217;m triggered, you need to change, you just multiply that by every human and you realize that nobody can be nothing and everybody&#8217;s got to be everything. We&#8217;re in trouble. There is no leadership in that world. It is a deep topic.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s a heavy topic. I went very serious because it has very serious implications. And yet I hope you also see the little pieces of this. I coach and consult a lot of business owners, and too often I hear them make an identity statement about their people instead of an activity statement. What does that sound like?<\/p>\n<p>This person just doesn&#8217;t care. This person is lazy. Why does nobody here care as much as I do? I&#8217;m like, you don&#8217;t know. You don&#8217;t know their insights.<\/p>\n<p>Now, did what they do show a pattern of maybe not taking this as serious as you do? Okay, but you don&#8217;t know what they care and don&#8217;t care about. They told me that, okay, how are you going to respond to it? And if the natural response is you&#8217;re gone, can you see how that person ends up alone? So go back and realize each of us is more than the worst thing we&#8217;ve ever done.<\/p>\n<p>I want to be treated that way. You want to be treated that way. How do I then believe, number one, with my employees, with my kids, with my coworkers, with society in general, those people on Facebook, people are not their words. People are not their actions. People are not their emotions.<\/p>\n<p>People are not their beliefs today because it&#8217;s all subject to change. Everybody&#8217;s on their journey, just like us. So therefore, now, I want to get to a place of okay. That&#8217;s not for me. That&#8217;s not my crowd, that&#8217;s not my scene.<\/p>\n<p>And I can hate that action. Hate those words, hate that. I can hate the belief, love the person. Because we&#8217;re all on that journey. Now that may seem very altruistic, very flower child. I don&#8217;t know what you want to call it.<\/p>\n<p>Yet in leadership, I can&#8217;t tell you how many times it&#8217;s helped to love the person that I&#8217;m mad at, love the underperformer in that snapshot, and not allow my brain to say who they are as a person. In fact, my brain now, I&#8217;ve programmed it most of the time to say they&#8217;re an awesome person. What they did was really stupid or really bad, in my opinion, or, man, I hate that belief. Love them. And when I can get there, I have enough love and compassion to be a more effective leader.<\/p>\n<p>And now I&#8217;ve trained myself. Every time I&#8217;m triggered, especially the really big triggers, I say, okay, that&#8217;s my creator looping it back up because there&#8217;s something I need to deal with. Why do I need that to change for me to be okay? And when you can get there, I can&#8217;t tell you in the workplace how many fights disappear, how many dances disappear, how many avoidances of conversation disappear.<\/p>\n<p>When we&#8217;re all people and we can disagree on an action and still be okay with each other. Do you know how many employees you have right now? If you&#8217;re a leader that are hiding from you, they&#8217;re scared to come say, I don&#8217;t know what the hell I&#8217;m doing here. I don&#8217;t understand this. I need help because in their mind, I&#8217;m a failure.<\/p>\n<p>Identity Statement. I&#8217;m not smart. Identity Statement. They&#8217;re going to think that I&#8217;m no good. Identity Statement. You got people right now. Your kids might be hiding from you because they think that you&#8217;re thinking about them as a human and when you can create an environment. Hey, you&#8217;re awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Remember the one of the most downloaded podcasts I&#8217;ve had? I think it was episode seven or eight. You and I are okay. You and the job are not okay. It&#8217;s the same thing.<\/p>\n<p>Hey son, you and I are good forever. What you do and I not always. Hey employee, you and I are good, as a person I love you. Doesn&#8217;t mean you need to stay working here.<\/p>\n<p>But what I&#8217;ll never do is think less of you because of what you did or said. I&#8217;ll just say that&#8217;s not a match for this role. It&#8217;s not a match for this company. It&#8217;s not a match for this, not match for your job. That&#8217;s fine.<\/p>\n<p>Doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re not fine. So as you get into that distinction, I got to tell you it starts to evaporate all this, and we can look around. I love the cancellers. I&#8217;m not attacking them.<\/p>\n<p>I hope you see that. I&#8217;m attacking the belief. I&#8217;ve got a problem with the belief that people are wanting the outside to change for them to be okay and yet we&#8217;re all on a journey. I love them too. So just channel that. Go back, listen to this a couple of times.<\/p>\n<p>Hopefully you&#8217;ll invite some people to listen to this. It certainly goes beyond leadership, yet, you can see in the workplace and in home the people you lead need this. We&#8217;ve got to start creating environments where you&#8217;re okay and you and I can disagree on your belief, your actions, your words. We can disagree on that. We can fight on that.<\/p>\n<p>But what we won&#8217;t disagree on, is the fact that you&#8217;re an awesome person and I&#8217;m an awesome person doing the best we can with what we got. Alright, with that I&#8217;ll leave you. I hope you take this and move forward and I will see you all next week. Thanks, everybody, for listening. Bye.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.16&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; header_3_text_align=&#8221;center&#8221; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;]<\/p>\n<h4>Thank You For Listening To The Seth Campbell Show, Episode 12: Can You Hear Me now? Effective Communication. <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/ep-12-can-you-hear-me-now\/id1572195032?i=1000540639850\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Listen to more episodes here.<\/a><\/h4>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_button button_url=&#8221;https:\/\/booknow.fivedoorsapp.com\/#\/customer\/smart-growth-call-with-seth&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text=&#8221;Book A Free Session With Seth&#8221; button_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.20.4&#8243; _module_preset=&#8221;default&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;on&#8221; button_text_color=&#8221;#FFFFFF&#8221; button_bg_color=&#8221;#CDA43B&#8221; button_border_color=&#8221;#CDA43B&#8221; button_border_radius=&#8221;11px&#8221; global_module=&#8221;258167&#8243; global_colors_info=&#8221;{}&#8221; theme_builder_area=&#8221;post_content&#8221;][\/et_pb_button][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome to the Seth Campbell Podcast. This show is to equip you with real world tactics to improve your leadership skills, build your wealth, and cause you to leave a multigenerational impact on your world. This is episode 13. I owe you an apology, and I owe each of you an apology because I&#8217;ve been [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":258133,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257413"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=257413"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":258194,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257413\/revisions\/258194"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/258133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=257413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=257413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sethcampbell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=257413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}