Episode 1: The Relationship Triangle
Do you sometimes find yourself feeling sorry for yourself or blaming the people around you whenever things go wrong? Or conversely, do you constantly find yourself being a little too harsh when holding people accountable for their actions? Perhaps, you’re always the mediator when conflicts arise around you. Well, you, my friend, have experienced what we call the Karpman’s Triangle or the Victim triangle. The Karpman’s triangle, developed by Dr. Steven Karpman in the 70s, describes the constantly shifting dynamics in relationships. What happens in this triangle is we have a victim, a rescuer, and a persecutor. The interesting part of all of this is that you might be playing one of these three roles subconsciously or probably deal with people who do on a daily basis.
So, the question is, why is this important for the modern-day leader? First, your team members will knowingly or unknowingly put you in situations where you’ll be forced into a particular role in the Karpman triangle. Second, if you’re in the US, the victim mentality is spreading at a very fast rate, so you need to be aware when one of your team members constantly plays the victim.
As leaders, making a stand and getting out of the triangle is essential when dealing with people who want to pull us in. Sometimes, you’ll be forced to take sides, but you need to stay alert to recognize when you’ve regressed into one of these roles. If you’re a leader and are struggling with the dynamics of the Karpman triangle, this episode is just what you need. Not only will I help you navigate relational dynamics with members of our team, but I’ll also share reflections and exercises that will save you heartaches as well as help you enjoy healthy, victim-free relationships.
What You’ll Learn:
[01:08] The Karpman Triangle and Its Influence on Modern Day Leadership [03:50] Why The Victim Is So Prevalent in the US
[06:01] Understanding the Key Aspects of the Victim Mentality
[07:40] The Role of the Persecutor in the Karpman Triangle
[09:05] The Primary Identifiers of a Savior
[11:10] How to Get Yourself Out of the Victim Triangle
[12:34] Understanding The Fuel of Fear
[15:30] How to Maintain a Firm Stand Using the Fuel of Love
[17:20] The Fine Line Between Coaching and Saving
[20:05] Are You a Prosecutor or a Challenger? Here’s How to Gauge Yourself
Links and Resources: